Cob Jockey

Disco comes home next week.

It feels surreal. But also right.

Disco out for a walk in Maude's fruit orchards. She says he loves this drive because she'll gather apples in the cart to give them to the horses when they're done.

A lot has changed since he left. One year and eight months ago, in March of 2023, I was depressed, overwhelmed, and alone. Especially alone in my own head. When Lisa told me about Maude's inquiry and asked if I would be willing to send Disco north, it felt like someone threw me a life preserver in a stormy sea. It wasn't enough to get me out of the water, but it would help me keep my head above the water.

Came home from dropping Disco off at the layover facility in Kentucky in April of 2023 and cried into Connor's neck. With relief.

When I agreed to buy Disco in May of 2021, I was still Old Me. And I recognize now that Old Me was using horses to escape from feelings I didn't know how to feel and couldn't name. Horses, tack ho'ing, showing, planning training rides and throwing myself into work to pay for it all were all-consuming distractions that conveniently distracted me from my own unhappiness, which I wasn't emotionally mature enough back then to identify anyway.

So, the question is now, (and I have been trying to figure this out for the last three years), what role do horses play in my life now that I'm happy? And more saliently, where do they fit in around a significant other I actually want to spend time with, and his kids, whose little lives I am so thrilled to be a part of?

Best stallion ever, or best stallion ever?

The answer is that my life now is like a quilt woven together from a bunch of different blocks, instead of my hobby being one big all-consuming blanket. Horses are one block. Date nights and coming together as a couple are another. Sitting in the stands cheering for 6th grade basketball games are another. Working on the farm with my SO and then sitting on the porch having a beverage together at the end of a long day are another. And, happily, watching an eight year old girl discover the magic of horses and the joy of a quiet, snuggly pony are another. 

Mary giving my SO's daughter a proper lesson on Connor. I mightttttttttt have taken her on a shopping spree to the tack store for her birthday a couple of weeks after this photo was taken.

Which brings me back to Disco. I feel excited to have him back. I feel motivated to work with him. I feel fulfilled at the idea of building my next long-term partner. And I could not be happier to have to carefully plan out training rides in between the other things in my life that are important to me.

Let's do this.