March 30, 2017

Telling FBR

Probably the hardest part about the leaving process so far was telling FBR (Favorite Barn Rat).  In fact, I waited a couple extra days to break the news on the blog until I had a chance to tell her in private, just in case someone at my barn does read this.

FBR's horse taking a snooze a few weeks ago, probably the only time anyone's ever seen him lay down.

I told her on the drive back to her house one evening, with her driving my truck after I had just taught her to back my bumper pull into its spot, which requires maneuvering it around the 6H gooseneck and a flatbed trailer.

(I won't let her drive the trailer on the road til she has her actual license, but by gosh, I will turn her into a bumper pull backing champion while she still has her learner's permit.  It took her a while, and she got frustrated, but she really figured it out at the end and got it precisely in the right spot.)

FBR talking on her cell phone while riding.

"I have some bad news to tell you...me and Connor are leaving the barn."

I guess we were also testing her ability to focus on the road during stressful situations.  (She kept her eyes on the road and didn't swerve, A+)  She said "WHAT???" and then her mature, rational, 15-going-on-29 side kicked in and she calmly said, "Well I totally understand.  But I'm going to miss you!"

Same night, FBR riding bareback Connor, making him look like a miniature horse.

Since then, the only time she's mentioned it to me was when I texted her to tell her I did some spring cleaning and there was a bag of free stuff for her to go through before anyone else.  "Please don't leave :(" she sent back.  Heartbreaking.  I keep telling her even though Connor's moving I'm not leaving the farm.  I'm still coming back for lessons and will come out for hacks with her.

She may be half my age, but she's become a really good friend, and she has a bright future ahead with both riding and life in general.  Most of the time I don't feel like she's younger than me, although every once in a while she'll say something that makes me go "Oh yeah, you ARE a sophomore in high school."


It'll be sad when we go, but I hope to convince her we won't be out of her life, even if we're not boarding there anymore.  Leaving the people is always harder than leaving the facility.

21 comments:

  1. *sniff* Leaving good friends was the HARDEST part of leaving my last barn, hands down. I really, REALLY needed to leave for very good reasons, but I was heartbroken about the friendships that would change forever because of it. I hope you get to see a lot of FBR in the future!

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    1. I think I will, just have to make the time to do it in the future, and she's worth that to me.

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  2. Kids like her are few and far between. I know one.

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    1. Yeah, they totally are. I overheard my husband and roommate saying she was the type of kid that gives you hope for the future instead of making you feel the opposite. So true.

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  3. Ugh, always so hard! My RBF just told me she's moving barns too and that sucked.

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    1. Aw man, that's terrible! It's SUCH a hard decision.

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  4. Agree that leaving the people (and some of the horses) is the hardest part. At least you aren't moving far away or anything. She sounds like a really cool kid, and I would have loved for someone to teach me how to back a bumper pull and have had a friend like you when I was her age!

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    1. She is a really cool kid, and so eager to learn everything that has to do with horses. It's fun to have her around.

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  5. That is absolutely the toughest part but it's really nice that you'll still be taking lessons there since I'm sure you'll see her :)

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  6. It sounds like you have been a really cool friend/mentor to her

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    1. She makes it easy, she's constantly hanging out and asking good questions. She's like a sponge when it comes to horse knowledge.

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  7. Leaving the people is always the hardest part! Nice that you'll still be able to ride with her and catch up, though :) My FBR is also 15 going on 30 - oh how I wish I was half as mature at that age as our FBRs are!

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  8. Leaving people is always harder then that place. You handled it well.

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  9. Awww, so sad for both of you. You are kindred spirits! FBR is an awesome, natural horsewoman. She goes with the flow, or should I say horse. She loves them and they love her without any drama. Perhaps that is why you relate to her so well, and why you will miss each other so much. I'm sure that is why Connor adores her too. She is indeed, really special.


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    1. Awwww thanks. She is definitely a natural horsewoman, and Connor adores her, although it is probably because of how often she gives him the applesauce cup out of her lunchbox, haha.

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  10. When I was 14-ish, I found my "barn mom" while we were boarding at the same barn. Ultimately I left that barn and we had horses at different places before we again boarded at the same place for a couple more years. I have rally fond memories of our evening rides chatting about all things life. I then sold my horse shortly after I went to college, but all these years later and she is still a wonderful friend. We text frequently and I go visit her and her horses when I'm in town. My point is, good friendships last a lifetime, physical distance is a ultimately a very minor thing:)

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    1. That's such a sweet story, thanks for sharing that! You're absolutely right.

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  11. Awh! I always wanted a person like you in my life. I had a barn friend a few years ago that was in her mid twenties and she would always forget I was a freshman in college at the time and then suddenly be like "oh yeah" lol

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