Cob Jockey

*tap tap* Is this thing on? I haven't done a product review in so long, it feels weird. Oh well, here goes. These are on sale this weekend for Black Friday so I wanted to get this out ASAP.

Pictured in the background: my Jurassic Park fence extension I had to add because my 42lb rescue mutt can jump my 6ft privacy fence without touching it. Good times.

Over two years ago, I reviewed the Piper Heavy-Weight Winter Tight by Smartpak, and concluded that they were the best winter tights I'd ever found, except that the sizing was tricky. Well, that turned out to be an understatement. In both the XS and S sizes the damn things stretched out as I wore them and slid down, like, over my butt! I ended up only keeping one pair and only wearing them with my Underarmour 4.0 under them as protection.

1.0's, from the original product post. Baggyyyyyy.

I wasn't alone - the reviews were full of people saying the same thing. It seemed that no matter what body type you were and what size you chose, you would eventually moon someone while wearing these. Which is a shame, because I have never found another pair of winter tights that are warmer, more comfortable or more functional.

I am happy to report they finally came out with a new model, the Piper Heavy-Weight Winter Tight II by Smartpak, which changed nothing except the fit, and it does seem to have solved the "moon" problem, at least for my body type.

I got dressed up in a ridiculous outfit just for some legit product photos of these for you guys, please appreciate, lol. Shirt by Equestrian Stockholm, hat from the Royal.

Let's get the big thing out of the way first: they didn't change a single feature. Still the same silicone dots, still a cell phone pocket on both sides, still heavy velour? inside material, still yoga pant-like outside material.

The inside is SO DAMN WARM.

These are all great things. In winter, I want comfort, warmth (REAL warmth, this is Indiana we're talking about), and as little fuss as possible, and both the old and new models smash all that out of the park.

What did change: sizing. I am not quite 5'1 and an hourglass-shaped body-by-CrossFit 120lbs with most of that being in my butt and thighs (holllaaaaa hit a 185lb back squat last week with that butt and thighs!). 

In the 2.0 model of these tights, I can barely get the XS on. Even over my calves! 

That said - I am wearing the XS in all of these photos, because they do stretch as you wear them. And they don't fall down. THAT said - I would struggle to put my Underarmour 4.0 underneath the XS. But that's okay. 

Hear me out - even though I can barely get them on at first, XS IS THE RIGHT SIZE FOR ME. If you buy these and try them on and worry they're too small at first, don't panic. Wear them around the house for an hour and see if you change your mind. You probably will.

Bottom line: These are such good I-live-where-it-actually-gets-cold winter tights, and they have so little competition for being as good as they are that I do recommend giving them a shot if you live in a cold climate, but sizing is tricky and keep in mind that they do stretch as you wear them. I recommend trying your regular size and not panicking when they feel too tight at first. On some body types, especially if you size up, they may still fall down. But not on me!

What: Piper Heavy-Weight Winter Tight II by SmartPak - Full Seat

Sizes: XS-XXL

Colors: Black, Grey

Price: $82.95 with discounts available for USEF members and supplement auto-ship members (currently $59 with code BF2023 and the USEF discount stacked)

Disclaimer: Bought these with my own hard earned money, and I am not affiliated with nor being compensated by SmartPak in any way.