Anxiety at A had a good post about having an identity crisis, and after Wordpress ate my comment for the 6th time, I decided to just turn my comment into a post instead.
When watching the Olympics this year, I was struck by how icky Dressage felt to me. Eventing gave me the warm fuzzies - lots of great trips, everyone came home safe, horses that looked like normal horses. And then Dressage - just going off of my own gut feelings, the horses that moved beautifully and normally to my brain never scored well, and the ones that did score well seemed to me like they were moving like robots.
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| Photo used with permission |
I'm not going to turn this into some holier-than-thou keyboard warrior post, it's not that. This is about me and what I want. I don't want that. I don't want a horse that has been bred to move like a robot at the expense of its common sense and durability and a bunch of other things that are a lot more important to a 37 year old adult ammy with a day job than a 10 mover. I want fun, sane, sound, reasonably competitive but not so athletic that they throw me into the rafters because they saw a leaf on the ground.
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| North Forks Cardi |
It means that I know what matters to me, and I align my goals to that. It also means that I support the parts of the Dressage world that I believe ARE doing the right things for the right reasons. My goals in years' past have been things like "qualify for my GMO's championships" (my GMO is awesome) and "compete at National Dressage Pony Cup" (a championship show I don't have to qualify for that puts me on a relatively level playing field for once? Sign me up!) and "finally ride the counter canter serpentine like I've actually seen a serpentine before" (which is a real problem, OKAY).
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| National Dressage Pony Cup is just a FANTASTIC organization. |
I don't buy a full USDF membership, I don't set goals like "score a 70%", and I sure as hell don't give the USDF extra money for qualifying scores. Qualifying for Regionals/Finals is not on my bucket list and I'm, personally, a lot happier for it.
That's not to say you should feel the same way I do. I am forever and always in awe of Karen getting her gold medal and qualifying for the big shows on the self-produced and saintly Hampton, who is not a purposebred leg flinger. She fought hard and persevered through a lot more on-the-bubble scores than most people would have, and I admire the heck out of her for it. Would I do the same? I'm not sure. A gold medal isn't tantalizing to me, although learning to ride those movements is. But I don't need scores for that.
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| Don't need scores for this either |
So where does that leave me? Still here. I'm not "a Dressage rider" any more than I'm "an eventer". The sports I compete in aren't my identity. I feel comfortable supporting the parts of these sports that work for me and my goals and skipping the parts of the buffet line that don't.
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| Could literally make a montage of Connor's favorite horse show activity, which is this |
Whatever horse you choose to ride, whatever goals you choose to set, whatever sports you choose to compete in, whatever levels you choose to strive for, my sincerest hope for all of you is that you choose those things because you know yourself well enough to know that YOU want them, not because some governing body told you that you should want those things either directly or indirectly. It should feel good deep in your soul to do what you do, and if it doesn't, listen to that feeling. Horses are too all-consuming to feel otherwise.
Love this. Every word. To me, this is what makes horses so special - that they are so uniquely able to thrive in all the various ways we enjoy and feel fulfilled by them, which itself is not a static or fixed thing as our own wants, needs, lifestyles etc change and evolve over time. I love my local clubs and associations and organizers, and am realistically fairly detached from the upper echelons of horse sport, which are driven by a very different set of metrics and values than my day to day horse life.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad it resonated with you. Yes - it does change over time, or at least it can, and that's a good thing. My mom is always my hallmark of this. She loved to ride when she was younger, but after she had kids her relationship with them changed, and she just wanted to love them and take care of them and called them her "psychiatrists". There's nothing wrong with that!
DeleteI love the stall pictures of Connor. You hit the nail on the head with the camaraderie being one of the best parts of showing. When I've gone solo it's just not the same. Having the barn/training family there makes everything so much more special. It's like with everyone there we get to share in all the victories (horse that didn't scream for trailer buddy during dressage test, beautiful clear stadium round, etc) and share the joy of being out there doing something FUN with our four legged best friends. This makes those outcome goals fade and the process goals shine.
ReplyDeleteI so SO miss having a show team to compete with, because you're right, it's just not the same. But I'm fortunate to have a lot of friends that come along for the ride when I'm showing, which is almost as fun.
DeleteI love this post. You put many of my random, half-baked thoughts into words.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I'm so glad.
DeleteI really love this mindset. Too often we get boxed into a sport and doing it 'the right way' which is really just the accepted way, not always right. I, too, take what I like about something and leave the rest - in theory, I have some competition goals with Tilly, but I'll be more happy if we just spend a lifetime learning and growing together in whatever areas make us happy. Thank you for putting this so eloquently!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! Yeah, it's a great thing to strive for concrete goals, but you have to want that. You're going to feel out what's right for you two, you already are.
DeleteThis is an excellent and valuable post. I relate to a lot of this. Who I am as a horse person has changed drastically over the years. I used to adore dressage (and I still like the concept of classical dressage) but it has gotten so far from what feels right to me that I just don't go near it these days. There are things in endurance that I don't like either, and while I have a talented endurance mare on my hands, I'm more concerned with enjoying my horses and giving them the absolute best lives possible than I am about competing in any discipline. I still love the long trail, but I've reached a point where I can enjoy the miles even if I'm not chasing a specific goal all the time.
ReplyDeleteI can see that, and I admire and respect that about you. You definitely always put the horse first, and your horses are so happy. That's what matters, at the end of the day.
DeleteThanks for writing this. You're spot on with your critique (and encouragement!).
ReplyDeleteYou might enjoy reading Dressage for No Country: Finding Meaning, Magic and Mastery in the Second Half of Life by Paul Belasik. It's not a how-to book on dressage but a survey of the author's experience of the different schools of dressage when dressage in the U.S. was in its infancy. His take on how dressage judging has evolved (and the promotion of warmbloods) is especially enlightening and will probably resonate with you.
My only criticism of the book is that it was too short!
Sounds interesting, I'll have to check it out, thanks!
DeleteYou know what. I think I'll finally write a post instead of a comment. Thanks, Jen.
ReplyDeleteYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!
DeleteYes! Love this so much. That's what makes horses so great. There's something out there for everyone who loves them. Whether it's high level competition, local shows, weekly lessons on a school horse, or just staring at one in a field. It's all wonderful and meaningful.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking hard about what the future might hold for Al and I, and I really think I'd be most happy dabbling in the local shows with him. Maybe someday if my bank account gets thicker we'll do a few bigger shows. But I don't think we need that to feel fulfilled. More than anything, I just want that horse to be relaxed and happy doing whatever he decides he enjoys with me.
That makes me so happy. Al is such a tricky one! I would love to see you out there showing again because you do seem to love it, but I respect you for listening to what he (and your bank account, lol) wants.
Delete"Whatever horse you choose to ride, whatever goals you choose to set, whatever sports you choose to compete in, whatever levels you choose to strive for, my sincerest hope for all of you is that you choose those things because you know yourself well enough to know that YOU want them, not because some governing body told you that you should want those things either directly or indirectly" - I think I will be printing this out and slapping it over my trunk at the barn as a reminder to myself. I loved this entire post and the reminder that at the end of the day, it's what we find joy in for ourselves and our horses
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed Anxiety at A's post and this one too. It's a valid concern. Although I will say at regionals this year there were a few really lovely rides I saw (Loved Jeremy Steinberg's rides and Lauren Spreiser's.)
ReplyDeleteMyself, I just train and do clinics these days